Never Underestimate the Unfair
by artandatrocity
Summary: A sequel to "Turnabout is Fair Play." Kurt learns that his entire family will be out of the house for a day. Of course, he jumps on the opportunity to invite Blaine over so they can continue exploring their joint list of fantasies. Warnings for smut (after Chapter 1), and lots of it.


The Thursday following his delicious Saturday evening with Blaine, Kurt and his family sat together at the dinner table. They chatted idly about this and that for the first ten minutes or so, enjoying Carole's specialty chicken casserole. Eventually Burt piped up,

"Hey Kurt, before I forget, Carole, Finn, Rachel and I are taking a day trip to Columbus on Sunday. I figured I should ask if you and maybe Blaine are interested in joining us? We'll leave at 8am and get back around 9pm."

Kurt nearly choked on a particularly large bite of salad. Desperate to hide his enthusiasm about the idea of miraculously having the house to himself for a day he decided to draw out the conversation a bit, as opposed to immediately crying "NO."

"What's the occasion? And why is Rachel going?"

"She's been bugging me about going in to the city for weeks," Finn mumbled, "and when I told Mom about it she suggested we all go."

"Which," Burt concluded, "is why I'm inviting you and Blaine along."

Scrambling to come up with an excuse for both of them on the spot, Kurt continued stalling,

"You all just want as many Berry-buffers as possible," he teased.

"Hey! That's your brother's girlfriend you're talking about," Burt exclaimed, unsuccessfully hiding a smile that clearly indicated the validity of his son's statement.

"Sorry, sorry, won't happen again," Kurt said as he raised his hands in surrender. Now prepared with his lies, he went on,

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't think either of us will be able to go. Blaine mentioned a massive history assignment he needs to finish this weekend, and I told you already about that monster of an English essay that's due on Monday."

Burt raised an eyebrow,

"It's not like you to put off finishing something the day before."

Trying his best to remain calm, Kurt replied,

"And I won't. It'll be totally done by Saturday, but you know me— I'll stare at my computer and edit for hours until my eyes bleed. How else do you think I continue getting As on everything?" This wasn't a lie. Kurt Hummel was nothing if not a perfectionist.

"Not that I want to discourage you from doing homework," his father said, an unconvinced look on his face, "but are you sure that you want to spend the day cooped up in your room instead of out of Lima, having fun with us?"

Kurt resisted the urge to say that staying in his room was EXACTLY what he wanted to do on Sunday, instead going with,

"Yeah Dad, I'm sure. I've put a lot of work in to this essay already and its 15 pages that I'm really proud of, so I want to make it as good as possible."

Finally Burt nodded his head in acceptance.

"Alright, son, I understand. I know how you get when you're invested in a project. We'll miss you, though."

Grateful that a change of subject lay on the imminent horizon, Kurt smiled.

"Thank you for understanding. We'll just have to do this again another time."

With that final statement, the topic changed to a particularly rough repair brought in to the shop that day and dinner continued as usual. The only difference was Kurt squirming in his seat every so often, eager for the first chance to race downstairs and call Blaine. When everyone finished eating, Kurt offered to help clean up as a tactic to hide his excitement. This turned out to be a counterproductive choice after the exceptionally distracted teenager dropped a plate, sending it shattering all over the tiled floor. Carole thanked him for his assistance but politely dismissed him after he swept up the mess. Controlling a casual pace while walking through the living room where Burt and Finn sat proved excruciating, since all he wanted to do was run to his room.

At last Kurt closed the door behind him and bounded down the steps to retrieve the phone sitting on his nightstand. Flinging himself on the bed he dialed Blaine, vibrating with excitement as he listened to three rings before his boyfriend picked up,

"Hello, gorgeous. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

With a smile stretching for miles, Kurt replied,

"Hello, handsome. I have good news for you."

"You have my undivided attention."

"Well," Kurt began, "what are your plans for Sunday? Actually it doesn't matter, because whatever they are, you're about to change them."

"And what makes you so sure I want to cancel my quiet afternoon of reading and writing music?"

"Well, I guess if you're _really_ not interested in coming over to my house where I'll be the only one home for almost 13 hours…"

Blaine cut him off,

"Wait, what?"

Kurt giggled,

"My dad, Carole and Finn are going to Columbus for the day. They'll leave at 8 in the morning and not get back till 9ish that night. I already declined their offer for us to go with them."

A moment of silence passed before Blaine spoke somewhat shakily,

"So when do you want me?"

"Well to be honest, right now," Kurt quipped, blushing slightly even though no one could see him, "but on Sunday, how about 10am? That's enough time to be positive that they're a few zip codes away."

Kurt could practically hear the sly grin accompanying the next question floating in to his ear,

"Do I even need to ask what you want me to wear?"

Biting his lip to suppress a groan he managed to get out,

"You know you never need to ask again."

A short chuckle resonated from the other end of the line,

"In that case, how serendipitous that my purchase from Monday night's online shopping spree will arrive tomorrow."

The previously captive groan escaped,

"Blaine, you can't just say things like that when you know I need to go to bed soon."

"Oh, sweetheart, that's just me getting started…"

"And this," Kurt firmly interrupted, "is me finishing this conversation." He clearly imagined the other boy's pout and quickly spoke before Blaine could protest,

"I love you, baby, but I need to moisturize and get some sleep. If we keep this up right now I'll be a wreck in the morning. I'll see you at school tomorrow, ok?"

Sighing, Blaine's response came in a resigned tone,

"Ok. I love you, too. Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams, baby."

Kurt hung up and plugged his phone in to its charger before hauling himself off the bed and preparing to turn in for the night. Long after he switched off the light and snuggled beneath the sheets his mind swam with the possibilities of what Blaine might surprise him with on Sunday. He fell asleep lazily entertaining multiple images of lace, leather and latex.


End file.
